Tantra- On Being Solo

In her Thursday's Tantra Post of a couple weeks ago, Greenwoman said:

"I am learning to trust this practice more and more as the weeks of solitary practice unfold also....though I will admit to not doing the pc exercises and the rocking with it most of the time. It is so stimulating to my sex drive that I find myself feeling horribly frustrated with it. I am not getting much sex or sexual/emotional intimacy, so it makes me feel really lonely to have my libido stroked, which is what the rocking and flexing does for me. Perhaps Pamm, who started her study of Tantra as a solitary practitioner, will give that one her attention and tell me how that's worked out for her....so in case you are wondering. No. This solitary practice has not been including masturbation for me.

I fully expect to hear that this part of it will work just the same as the breathing does. *sigh...*"

As Greenwoman stated, I began my "official" Tantric training when I single. Actually, I was newly separated. I had been doing stuff I read about on my own before that, but I didn't have a partner even in my then husband, a Fundamentalist Christian who thought I was evil. That didn't preclude me having amazing Tantric experiences with him, however. It's just that I hadn't had partner consciously participating with me. So what I guess I'm trying to convey is that not only can Tantra be practiced with a partner, it can be practiced alone. And it can be practiced with someone making love with you but not simultaneously consciously engaged in the practice.

Yes, doing the pelvic tilt, kegels and breathing alone can and definitely does bring up the energy.

My solitary practice sometimes included self pleasuring. When it did, I always did it ritualistically. In other words, I would connect to my Higher Self and Shiva energy then offer myself/orgasm up in prayer/connection with the Divine. I had one practice where I would bring the energy up just to the point of orgasm, stop, do intense forceful breathing, hold the breath, engage all the bandhas, then let the air out in a hissing noise, feel the energy disperse, then bring the energy up again. I would eventually get the rhythm to the point of a few strokes, then stop and disperse just until it wasn't the edge, then a few more, then back again for upwards of a half hour or more, all the while breathing, holding, dispersing, etc. It was pretty powerful stuff.

I remember a few other times, where I was actually celibate. Once was for three months, another for about nine. In both cases, I started to get fairly strong streaming energy going within a month. ( I can feel a slight hum all the time when I tune in, but this was much stronger) While I could feel this stronger energy all the time during those periods to varying, there were times when they would explode into intense full body orgasms when I least expected it. (once in a very quiet library where I could not stop a moan....oooopss...smile).

But even when I came out of celibacy and did have Tantric partners, there might be periods of time in between when I wouldn't see them. Then Solitary practice was all I had. Good Tantric partners are few and far between so I learned to make love with myself, even when not self pleasuring.

Powerful Tantric energy and healing can occur when even one partner focuses on circulating energy. It can't help but be felt by the other partner, even if they aren't doing any conscious Tantric practice (breath, moving energy, connecting with partner, creating a circle of light, etc.) My partners have spontaneously shifted when I tune in to bringing the energy up from my first chakra to my heart and offering it back to theirs, seeing it flow to their first and back to me.

While always nice to have a partner consciously practicing, I find that if I let go of that need which blocks the free flow of healing energy, I experience profound stuff. Tantra is about flow and non-resistence. Sometimes, smile, it's about being with the flow of resistence. It's all cycles. Solo time is just one of them. All of relationship is about first tuning in with the self, then sharing that with another and the Dance of that play. This is not only in sex, but in all aspects of all relationship- how am I alone and how am I with another? It's in deciding what kind of sex to have now, to how a couple will handle their money situation, to where they will go on a vacation, to which movie to watch when she likes comedies and he wants to watch a more cerebral movie.

So where do I go when I'm in an alone cycle? There's something very powerful about raising sexual energy and just sitting with it, not needing to have it met or dissipated in any way. Just sit. If alone comes up, I feel alone and watch it as it transmutes (because it always does). If I feel horny, feel horny shudder through. If I feel elated, I feel that oozie its way through. Here this moment is. I'm feeling this sexual energy, it's my Sacred, alive, juicy body. I will make love to Me and Life. Breathe, feel the orgasmic energy flow, smile, aaaaaaahhhh.....

Don't forget to go visit my dear friend Greenwoman who talks about Solitary Practice again today.

Images:

ShaktiShiva from here

Goddessvega 7 from here

T-Island Dream from here