Day 8- Abundance, The Body And The Past

Right off the bat, I could tell the mind was racing today as I'm getting ready to leave for a night's adventure with a dear companion.

When I coach people, I often suggest that they ask a question or put out a prayer so they can receive answers during the session...then to let it go and see what comes up. Today my question was a wondering what my blocks are to outrageous financial abundance.

I am Blessed in this area. I've definitely been through scary times, but my overall belief is that, in the end, I am always taken care of. I flashed on this book I once read called "The Trick To Money Is Having Some." It was a hilarious book about personal growth folk (he is one of them) and how it's often difficult for us to manifest big money. The author's thoughts were that it's harder for those on a spiritual path to be outrageously abundant because we put so much on it, bring so much conflicted energy to it that we put up blocks to it. I'm not in angst around money right now, but I am curious so I thought it a good time to ask....and just receive whatever came up.

Body wanted to move. Monkey Mind..or what I thought was Monkey Mind, began. But I decided to let it flow, not push away to see where it would go.

At one point, about ten minutes in, Body wanted attention...so I began massaging in my abdomen...no....that is only slightly tender now. What was holding before is now releasing. Legs are tender but no shooting, intense pain.

Arms wanted to dance so they did. Then, when I wasn't paying attention, all of a sudden they were on my back. They went to the lumbar region, the only place in my spine that's frozen. I see chiropractors, healers always being drawn there, but realizing the work is way too much to do in one or seventeen sessions. I yearn for Rolfing....two rounds with emphasis here. Maybe intense bone crunching chiropractic in the off days??? Or...maybe...it occurs to me...this is good for right now and am I'm not going so that I can create something new????

The snippets of awarenesses began.

-There I am swinging high into the sky...about three...singing...feeling like the creator of my world.

-There I am at 7, overweight, dancing when I see a neighbor laughing at me, stopping my dancing in shame.

-There I am in Jr. High....in gym....shamed. Still overweight, I am trying to do gymnastics. I do one of those summersaults over five people, land on my back and knock the wind out of me. The pain is in my lumbar (...today's mind asks if this is the origin of this frozen area..mind, body, mind...this is the back part of the pain in the abdomen). I get up,walk to my friend whisper "I can't breathe." When she wants to get the teacher, I tell her no..shame over my body and its inability to do this stuff is too much to be noticed here in this class where I have no abilities.

-the area right under my heart starts to hurt...does this block in my back power center hold back energy and opening of my heart?

-which leads to awarenesses about love

How I am conditional in how I am willing to share my love
How when I open to love with one person, I open to love with another....love begets love
How maybe my outrageous financial abundance is blocked because heart is blocked..as isn't abundance about letting in love?
About how blessed I am

Curious to see what awarenesses continue to bubble up today around this. Good stuff continues.


No time for art image searches today...I am off to be abundantely wined and dined and arted and funned. Yum.