All The Little Voices: Voice Dialogue

Of the gabillions of processes I've tried, I consider Voice Dialogue to be one of the most effective. Learning to talk to all the little voices inside my head taught me lots. Plus does't it feel so wonderful to finally admit they're there?

Ever try to make a decision and have all sorts of different ideas that simultaneously conflict? Ever decide to do something, do it, then have guilt or at least question what you've done? These are the different Voices at work. They can, and often do, hold polar opposite perspectives on a situation or relationship. They each want equal consideration and cooperation. No one wants their opinions to be left out if they think they're really good ones, right? Our inner Voices are the same.

I call this process "Transformative Sacred Theatre" because to really be effective, you isolate and let go into these pieces and parts of your Self that you hear in your head. You let them take you over and speak.

Most all of us share certain Voices: The Judge and/or Critic, the Victim, the Overseer, and more. From those commonly held ones, we then branch off into different Voices that are unique to us. I have an eight year old boy inside me, a pre-verbal baby, The Wise One, the Slut, HealerWoman, Aphrodite, Airy New Agey Gal, MidwesternGal, Sceptic, Scientist, Universal Unconditional Love, twelve year old girl, four year old girl. I have lots of Voices inside me. We all do.

My sessions would begin with my therapist asking me what was up for the week. She would listen and get a feel for the different Voices that wanted to be heard. When she felt she understood the dynamic (within a few minutes), she would ask the dominant Voice to come forward. At that point, I would go within and feel my body's impulses. I would go to sit, stand, or lie somewhere in the room that this Voice led me to. The place I, Pamm, had been sitting in remained "Pamm" throughout the duration of the session. No one else could sit there or any other place that had been "claimed" by another Voice. The Voice that was talking would look in the direction of "Pamm" to acknowledge her when talking about her, always referring to Pamm as Pamm, or the other Voices that might appear later as their name. "Me" or "I" in that moment was the speaking voice. Each maintained their own position/posture in the room to re-inforce their distinct Voice and personality.

The therapist would listen, ask questions, make safe space for that Voice to be heard in its entirety. She was so gifted in this...she was so in tune with the differnt energies of the different Voices that she could spot when a new Voice popped in unexpectedly signalling a time to switch places. All her questions and statements held nonjudgmental acceptance to whatever that Voice needed to say, no matter how scary or dark it seemed.

I, Pamm, easily stepped out of the way. I was amazed at what my body would do and what would come out of my mouth. Amazed. I would go into a hypnotic place each time, allowing whatever would come out to come out. My facilitator was a master, bringing out all the different conflicting Voices that chimed in on in a particular issue. The last ten minutes or so was about integrating all that came up. She would have us go back to all the places we had spoken from. Each Voice would have one last opportunity to tell Pamm what they felt about her and what they wanted her to hear.

I would imagine them in my mind's eye. Many of them would hug me as they, particularly the Judge, would let me know how he loved me, wanted the best for me and was just trying to protect me. He spoke in a very loud voice because he thought it would be the only way I would hear him. It was enlightening to hear this and be able to sense the love instead of the anger I had formerly felt from him.

Initially, this process can be a bit disconcerting. When I first started using it lots I wondered if I may be slipping into Dissociative Identity Disorder (or Multiple Personality, as it used to be called). This doesn't happen because at the end of the sessions, you integrate all the Voices. I suggest finding a facilitator to do some sessions with at first. But after doing it with a facilitator to practice it and get how it goes, I did it on my own. I find it one of my most effective in the moment tools. This process is almost second nature to me now. I go inside and talk to all the different Voices, giving them my full attention.

The greatest gift this process gave me is in letting go of judgement and fear of the dark sides of humanity. We all have them. They all just want a Voice and to be heard. When allowed expression, they lose their power over Me. I got to learn that my Judge, my greatest critic, the piece that tormented me was now understood, now listened to and not demonized so became my friend. As I listened to it's voice, allowing it to no have to yell so loudly, judgments about others disappeared, too.

Hal and Sidra Stone teach this process and are the authors of a number of books on how Voice Dialogue works. I highly recommend their books, especially their first one "Embracing Ourselves."

Art:

Multiple Personality Disorder by Ben Reche

Fractal by Allen John from here

Ancestral Inner Voices by Tafa from here

Sacred Marriage of Light and Dark from here