Crazy Wisdom Inspiration

One of my favorite spiritual growth bloggers is Isabella Mori of Change Therapy. Her post today pointed to a new-to-me blog, Source Of Inspiration and a project that's going on there. It's to write about Inspiration- what inspires us, motivates us, gets us out of the mundane. I read the post calling for submissions, stopped and thought for maybe two seconds before the answer hit me.

Death.

And, as I have such a sick sense of humor, this, of course, made me laugh when I imagined responses when people would read this. But it's true. When I look back over the years at what has been the prime mover to get me out of temporary funks, major funks, tweakies, crankies, anything, it's been remembering Death. Because Death gently and lovingly reminds me of Life. Life Right Now.

There is a question I have taken to asking "thinking" people I've met over the last seven-ish years or so. It can be and sometimes is blown off as trite. But being the cheezy person I am, I ask anyway because when it's truly considered, it has the capacity to move mountains. The question?

What would your life would look like if you knew you only had a year to live?

A month?

A week?

A day?

Those questions catalyzed me seventeen years ago. At that time, I was coming out of a mind numbing paralytic coma of sorts. My mother had died, my father two years before her. I was in a miserable marriage, doing a job I hated, in tremendous emotional pain. I felt stuck....didn't have the strength to leave the marriage, was overweight, drank wayway too much beer. I was one shut down woman. It got to the point where I when I woke up, my first thought was "Oh, F____, I'm awake," and I would cry. Every morning. This was not a happy time.

I remember one day, walking around work, doing something, people wanting things. I had no energy for it or them. I distinctly remember going to into a room that was empty. I had been crying for about ten minutes, feeling pained, holding back the real pain, not ready to go fully into it. For some reason, though, that day it would not be denied. I embraced the pain of Death, let it rip me apart.

I stayed with it, I breathed. And then a very odd thing happened.

I felt like dancing.

Fwoosh...my body wanted to go into a posture that reminded me of Shiva Nataraj. I kept getting images of BEING the YinYang symbol. I felt and was the The Dance Of Life. I knew that for the first time, I now understood Joy at the core of my being.

Things continued to shift internally for me and my outer world slowly started to reflect that inner change back to me through both attraction and action. Over the next three years, I sold my company, I lost 75 pounds, I left my marriage, I quit drinking, I re-created my life. And although none of those things were easy, they all brought me a joy, Life, abundance and freedom I had never experienced. I walked around with a huge grin on my face, marveling and verbalizing how much I loved my life (and driving my kids nuts in the process, I might add, yeahyeahyeah, allright already, Mom.)

Life has its cycles and I am not going to pretend that I am anywhere other than where I am. Life is too short for that. Due to numerous life choices I made, I spent the last two years getting lost in a fog. After letting go of my resistence and finally asking myself those questions in a different way in this different cycle, I am currently on my way out again to that joy space I was before. It's pretty darned exciting, I must say, to be back on the Path of Conscious Creation.

Death grounds me, brings me present. When I embrace its gifts, it brings me razor sharp focus, clarity for action and positive mindset. I remember to give thanks for the most mundane things like working phones, highways that are organized and pothole free, for grocery stores filled with a selection of food that rivals a feast for the Greek gods. It inspires me to be clear with, and thoughtful of, those I love, closing my energetic circles so if something should happen I don't regret. It reminds me to give huge thanks and drink in Earth's beauty as she is today, spurring me on to do all I can to assist her in her transitions in the coming decades. It reminds me to be good to myself because I have such a wonderful gift in being here on this planet in this time and space where so much aliveness and opportunity for change and creation exist.

All things die. It is what it is. People, families, experiences, cities, relationships, businesses, trees, companies, animals, you, me. ALL things are transient so are precious in this moment. There is nothing that inspires me more to remember what's important, nothing that reminds me more that I am alive. Death, in all its forms, gently, sweetly, provides a constant reminder that anything, everything can change in a nanosecond in ways we cannot fathom. Death is my Teacher and Friend.

Gustav Klimt "Death and Life" image from here
Henri Matisse "The Joy of Life" Image taken from here
Gustav Klimt "Tree of Life" image from here
Paul Gaugin "Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where are We Going? image from here