Tagged For Energy

Karen over at Live the Power has tagged me for a meme that was started by Cardin at Optimistlab. I feel really honored as I feel I am so new to this Blogland and am still finding my way here. This meme is for sharing the top five ways we raise our energy and to promote a fairly new website called high Vibe it which is like a diggit or stumblupon site for postive blogging. I would encourage you to go visit both sites...Cardin's link explains the whole process. You don't have to be officially tagged to participate. Meme's can be way fun.

So...my five favorite ways to raise my energy?

1) A nice slow (minimum of two hour) sex session. Takes my mind off just about anything, puts me in my body in a really nice way. The best attitude adjuster I've ever experienced.

2) A drive. I love to get out of town in my car. There's something about the movement, the music (which I always play really loudly), the vibration of the car, the sensation of flying/speed and all wonderful stuff to look at- I get to be reminded of abundance. I often have ecstatic moments of connection with the Divine while driving.

3) Going to a movie, preferably at the theatre. The big screen grabs all my attention. The sound is everywhere. I let forget about my life, recalibrate myself and start anew. If at home, I watch "Amelie." Who wouldn't be happy after that?

4) Deep belly breathing. I have this thing I call 'the 7 breath.' I breath in to the count of seven, hold for seven, exhale for seven. I do this seven times. Works like a charm.

5) Dancing. I put on music really loud and fly all over the house.

And..now I get to tag five others. Enjoy!!

One Kind Act: Daily Decisions- a Sweet story about everyday Saints and Buddhas living and doing life together. I couldn't really decide on any one post so chose this one as an example of Greenwoman's love that flows from her words in every post she writes at Defining Spiritual Presence. I love her.

Mark wrote about focusing on what we like about our partners in relationship and the power of focusing on our Beloveds positively in Are You Using the Language of Love?
at his blog Naked Soul.

I loved the relaxation that Isabella Mori offered on Change Therapy called Relax. I always feel calm after reading Isabella, but with this post, even more so.

Edward Mills wrote on a sweet, simple yet profound way of how he works his relationship in From Concept To Practice: The Law of Attraction In Relationships at his blog Evolving Times.

I liked this article at the Ordinary Mystic called Think that life treats you unfairly? Think Again! As I have a great deal of interest in medicine, I love it when science "proves" what we have known for a very long time.

My Ego Is My Friend

Long ago and far away, I somehow got the message that my ego was a bad thing. It was what made me sad. It was always wanting, was this thing that gave me desires, therefore the opening to pain. It hid things inside, gave me "masks," kept me separate from others and God. It wasn't real. It was my main obstacle to enlightenment and my job here was to get past Ego, anhillate it, rip it apart, tune into my Authentic Self, meditate it away and then everything would be Blissbunny Land.

Although I never consciously interpreted it this way, I realized over time that I was pissed at my ego. How could I not be, with all that I perceived it was "doing" to me? Shoot...because of it I wasn't happy. If I could just change it, heal it, fix its pathologies, its negativity and its ...yes....evil ways, then all would be well.

It came as quite a shock to me one day when I flashed on an internal whisper of a totally different perspective. If I knew that since The All (of which I was part) unconditionally loved us then why would we create something that I perceived as so "bad." Could it be that I had been believing a misperception of the nature of Ego? I stayed with it and had a flash of knowing:

I came here to this planet with this body, this mind, these emotions, these life tools as perfectly imperfect as I may want to label them. I came here knowing I would have an ego.

I didn't come here to be totally spirit, disconnected from this plane of existence. If I wanted that, why bother coming? I was already disembodied. Why leave when I was already there? I knew I came here to experience and create here, that this life is not a punishment for past lives, not a place to work out whatever I misguidedly think I may need punishment for. This Earth is Sacred. It's a part of God...why would I not want to come here? And since everything is One, then that means Ego is a part of that whole, too...it's not the only exception to the rule. If it is sacred, why am I demonizing it? To constantly want to escape it and Earth seemed kind of counter productive. Could believing that the Ego was anything but Sacred be keeping me separate from that union with the Self I sought?

I came here to dive in, to find out what it's all about, to discover how things feel, smell, taste and to create anew in this aspect of the Dance of Life. I came here to express all of my Sacred self here in this plane and in this way. I came to experience passion, joy, ecstasy. And I came here to experience discomfort, pain, frustration. We co-created this world. We knew all of it would be here before we came here...we knew that joy, bliss, Ego, pain, suffering were part of the picture....we knew that. We agree to it, heck... if we didn't want it, none of it would exist.

I no longer see Ego as a problem to be overcome, pushed aside, denied, transmuted, ignored. My ego informs me. It's a vital piece of this existence or it wouldn't be here. It's just one of the Little Voices Inside My Head which wants equal consideration, wants me to hear and pay attention. And just like all the other Voices inside me, it's when I ignore it, demonize it, don't heed it's gifts and messages, that it starts to get weird on me. It has the ability, just like any of the other Voices, to be out of balance. But if I listen to it, if I have a sense of humor about it, love it, accept it, appreciate it, Ego becomes my friend instead of my battering ram.

I went in and asked Ego to come forth and speak. At first I asked Ego to introduce itself and talk about itself. I closed my eyes and just typed. What you see below has not been edited except for typos.

I am the light of creation. I give you ideas about things to create in this world. Without me, you would still be in caves,lighting fires and have no opportunity for a nice meal at the The French Laundry.* Because of me, you have buildings, bridges, roads, furniture. Because of me, you have art. Because of me you have plentiful food and the ability to ultimately feed the whole planet. Because of me this world is as you know it.

I am the park that ignites any project. Without me there would be nothing done.
Without me, there would be no internet. Or science, or medicine. I am what tells you how to get from point a to point b.

When I ask it what happens when it is not listened to:

I want to destroy you. Don't you undersand you have very little time on
this planet. I want you to do lots, see lots, be lots. If you don't listen to me, I will do anything in my power to make you go there. Even if I have to push, yell, beat you up an make you miserable to get there. My objective is creation. Here and now. To do this you have to have discipline. I and the Judge work well together to get you there. I may give you incentives, such as watching what others have then setting up a competition to force you. Sometimes it's the only way to get you moving. I want you to want. From your wants you decide to create. It's just that simple. My job it so ensure you create. And if you don't work with me I will do everything I can to get you there, even if it causes the others pain.

When I really tune into Ego, what I get is that it's my linear, finite mind. What an incredible Gift it is to have Ego here on this planet of substance, this place of linear time! Ego sees its Birth and Death and notices that its time here is limited. It wants to grab all it can to make the ride an incredible one. It doesn't see eternal life so from it's perspective, it will die. If its purpose is Creation and adding to Life and it knows it will die, I can see a dissonance there for Ego. I can imagine that Death angers it as then it will no longer be able to do what is its nature to do. It will be gone.

And what is anger? Anger protects, puts up impermeable walls, shields us against whatever it is out there that we feel we need protection from. Anger often looks ugly to ward off the perceived threat. When I am able to step outside myself and see Ego, I can find compassion for it, not feel the need to quiet it. It's just like anyone outside me. If we listen to an angry person rant, let them know we hear them, that we understand, what happens? If they no longer have a wall to butt up against, they calm down after awhile. If they can get all their anger out, it no longer rules them. I love it if I am able to hold onto myself enough when someone is angry with me to be able to see deeper and reach out, rather than get caught in my anger and become the other wall. It's in becoming a sweet gooey puff of love that healing can occur.

And since I have as my intention to offer this to others, why wouldn't I offer it to a part of me? The power of loving acceptance of all the different parts of me, makes miracles. Even with the ego.

So now, how do I deal with Ego? I hardly ever get jealous. But if I do, I thank Ego for giving me a clue that this thing must be important to me. I then get to investigate why that is. The easiest example would be that if I am in relationshp with someone and I think they are interested in someone else and I feel jealousy, then that means this person is important to me....or, why else would I feel "threatened?" Do I not feel secure? Not good enough? That my Beloved will leave me?

If Ego thinks it's superior and gets an attitude...well...what's important that I am not seeing here? How do I feel "less than" so therefore trying to find a way to feel more? One wonderful persona of my Ego is someone I call Aphrodite. She's a hoot. She wants all men to bow down to her, wants to believe all men adore her. She requires her due adoration or she simply leaves. She also lets me know when I'm not nurturing/valuing myself so need that outer reference for value. If acquiring "stuff" seems important the message may be that I feel insecure.

My journey has led me many places, but they have all returned to the place where I want to integrate, love and accept all of me. Playing with Ego continues to be a sometimes exhilarating, sometimes exasperating Dance. I no longer have too many judgements about its judgements. I appreciate its gifts, laugh at it lots while just shaking my head at it's finagling to be heard and followed. It isn't all of my Voices, only one. We still have a rocky time of it from time to time, but I now stand with it through thick and thin, seeing it too, in all its many manifestations as Sacred. Ego is now my friend.

*A personal reference for me. This is an amazing restaurant that I have been to twice and is the epitome of fine dining extraordinaire. Eating there is a spiritual experience...and it makes me happy.

Art:

Blogger messed up and I lost the artist, but the image of the transmuting rose is from The Michener Museum

"Mother Earth", 16"x20" Oil on Linen ©Jenness Cortez Perlmutter from here

"Aphrodite "by Tomasz Kostecki

This post was included in the Carnival of Personal Growth. Thanks, Karen!!

All The Little Voices: Voice Dialogue

Of the gabillions of processes I've tried, I consider Voice Dialogue to be one of the most effective. Learning to talk to all the little voices inside my head taught me lots. Plus does't it feel so wonderful to finally admit they're there?

Ever try to make a decision and have all sorts of different ideas that simultaneously conflict? Ever decide to do something, do it, then have guilt or at least question what you've done? These are the different Voices at work. They can, and often do, hold polar opposite perspectives on a situation or relationship. They each want equal consideration and cooperation. No one wants their opinions to be left out if they think they're really good ones, right? Our inner Voices are the same.

I call this process "Transformative Sacred Theatre" because to really be effective, you isolate and let go into these pieces and parts of your Self that you hear in your head. You let them take you over and speak.

Most all of us share certain Voices: The Judge and/or Critic, the Victim, the Overseer, and more. From those commonly held ones, we then branch off into different Voices that are unique to us. I have an eight year old boy inside me, a pre-verbal baby, The Wise One, the Slut, HealerWoman, Aphrodite, Airy New Agey Gal, MidwesternGal, Sceptic, Scientist, Universal Unconditional Love, twelve year old girl, four year old girl. I have lots of Voices inside me. We all do.

My sessions would begin with my therapist asking me what was up for the week. She would listen and get a feel for the different Voices that wanted to be heard. When she felt she understood the dynamic (within a few minutes), she would ask the dominant Voice to come forward. At that point, I would go within and feel my body's impulses. I would go to sit, stand, or lie somewhere in the room that this Voice led me to. The place I, Pamm, had been sitting in remained "Pamm" throughout the duration of the session. No one else could sit there or any other place that had been "claimed" by another Voice. The Voice that was talking would look in the direction of "Pamm" to acknowledge her when talking about her, always referring to Pamm as Pamm, or the other Voices that might appear later as their name. "Me" or "I" in that moment was the speaking voice. Each maintained their own position/posture in the room to re-inforce their distinct Voice and personality.

The therapist would listen, ask questions, make safe space for that Voice to be heard in its entirety. She was so gifted in this...she was so in tune with the differnt energies of the different Voices that she could spot when a new Voice popped in unexpectedly signalling a time to switch places. All her questions and statements held nonjudgmental acceptance to whatever that Voice needed to say, no matter how scary or dark it seemed.

I, Pamm, easily stepped out of the way. I was amazed at what my body would do and what would come out of my mouth. Amazed. I would go into a hypnotic place each time, allowing whatever would come out to come out. My facilitator was a master, bringing out all the different conflicting Voices that chimed in on in a particular issue. The last ten minutes or so was about integrating all that came up. She would have us go back to all the places we had spoken from. Each Voice would have one last opportunity to tell Pamm what they felt about her and what they wanted her to hear.

I would imagine them in my mind's eye. Many of them would hug me as they, particularly the Judge, would let me know how he loved me, wanted the best for me and was just trying to protect me. He spoke in a very loud voice because he thought it would be the only way I would hear him. It was enlightening to hear this and be able to sense the love instead of the anger I had formerly felt from him.

Initially, this process can be a bit disconcerting. When I first started using it lots I wondered if I may be slipping into Dissociative Identity Disorder (or Multiple Personality, as it used to be called). This doesn't happen because at the end of the sessions, you integrate all the Voices. I suggest finding a facilitator to do some sessions with at first. But after doing it with a facilitator to practice it and get how it goes, I did it on my own. I find it one of my most effective in the moment tools. This process is almost second nature to me now. I go inside and talk to all the different Voices, giving them my full attention.

The greatest gift this process gave me is in letting go of judgement and fear of the dark sides of humanity. We all have them. They all just want a Voice and to be heard. When allowed expression, they lose their power over Me. I got to learn that my Judge, my greatest critic, the piece that tormented me was now understood, now listened to and not demonized so became my friend. As I listened to it's voice, allowing it to no have to yell so loudly, judgments about others disappeared, too.

Hal and Sidra Stone teach this process and are the authors of a number of books on how Voice Dialogue works. I highly recommend their books, especially their first one "Embracing Ourselves."

Art:

Multiple Personality Disorder by Ben Reche

Fractal by Allen John from here

Ancestral Inner Voices by Tafa from here

Sacred Marriage of Light and Dark from here

37 Ways To Be Inspired

Vivien at Inspiration Bit did a call for articles on Inspiration. I got mine in in the nick of time! She posted all of the entries (37 of them) here.

5 Sources Of Inspiration in Photography by Brian AuerInspired
Seeing Life Through The Eyes Of Inspiration by Andrew Rickmann
Sources Of Inspiration For Your Blog by Simonne Matthew
Inspiration For Blogging by Ronald Huereca
Webmaster Blog Inspiration by Lee Robertson
Reliable Sources Of Inspiration for Inspiration Bit by VivienRelying
Inspiration For Design And Advertising by TaraGet
Finding Inspiration At The Top Of A Ladder by RoryAllow
Frustration Is A Source of Inspiration by BesFrustration
Graphic Designer’s Snapshots of Inspiration by Lauren Krause
Sources Of Inspiration For A Young Blogger by Shankar Ganesh
Get your creativity back: the old fashion way by Mirko
Storyteller’s Muse by Shelly
What Inspires A Graphic Designer by David Airey
Defining Inspiration by Jenny MCB
Sources Of Inspiration for Observers by Pearl
A Tribute To All Mothers by Jacklyn
Teaching, Inspiration, and Rock‘n Roll by Damien Riley
Sources Of Inspiration From DailyBlogTips - interview with Daniel Scocco
Inspiration From Your Future Self by Kate Hudson
The Roots Of Inspiration by Isabella
Please God, Bless The Mess by Rosemarie“Writing is my calling”.
Inspired To Write by Marcia
Inspired By One Minute Miracle by Lewis Bass
Motivation And Inspiration for A Hobbyist by Joey
Postcards Of Inspiration by Paulie
The Little Successes Along The Way by Carolyn Manning
The Really Simple Domino Effect by Hamelife
Questioning Inspiration by Nanny Molly
Inspiration or Despair That is the Question by Joey
Sources Of Inspiration For Writing by Yvonne Russell
Life on Hysteria Lane by The Rock Chick
Inspired By People by Jacob Share
They Showed Me How To Find Release by Carolyn
Sources Of Inspiration For Life and Blogging by Dj Flush

Carnival Of Healing

Another Carnival blog that I would like to mention. I've been a Carnival submitting party gal-

Reiki Blogger hosted the Carnival of Healing and included my post on The Breath. There were some great articles presented and I encourage you to go to her site and check them out. In particular I liked:

Christine Kane writing a great post titled Doubt is a Drag Queen
Isabella Mori wrote a wonderful meditation that made me feel connected, called Relax.
Debra Moorehead wrote a great post using gardening as a metaphor for growth

Other articles were:
“Healing the unhealthy relationship with the scale, getting off of it, and living your life!” by JoLynn Braley here.
Fitness Experiment: 2 Weeks on the Slow Carb Diet and Going Strong posted at Pick the Brain. 5 Ways to Master Your Emotions posted at Ananga Sivyer’s Living by Design Blog.
Imaginif: Home of the BITSS Model of Protective Behaviours posted at Imaginif…. by Megan Bayliss
Karen Halls presents How to Overcome Pain Pill Addiction posted at Addiction Recovery Blog. An Open Letter to My Parents by Brandon Peele presents posted at GT.
Home remedies for prickly heat by Aparna and posted at Beauty and Personality Grooming. Homecoming to You: Re-connecting with Your Authentic Self by Hueina Su at Intensive Care for the Nurturer’s Soul.
How to Make Your Life Easier by Raymond David Salas at ZenChill.com Power Tools Blog.
My Body is Not Who I am… It’s Just Where I Iive. by Craig Harper presents at Motivational Speaker.
Ouch, my back hurts? by Angela Lindenmuth at Chiromom’s Soap Box.
Robotic Pet Therapy posted at Dr. Deb.
Curve Ball… Duck! by Phylameana posted at About Holistic Healing. She has lots of really good, easy to read articles to keep me on track.

next week’s carnival will be held at MindMart.

Crazy Wisdom Inspiration

One of my favorite spiritual growth bloggers is Isabella Mori of Change Therapy. Her post today pointed to a new-to-me blog, Source Of Inspiration and a project that's going on there. It's to write about Inspiration- what inspires us, motivates us, gets us out of the mundane. I read the post calling for submissions, stopped and thought for maybe two seconds before the answer hit me.

Death.

And, as I have such a sick sense of humor, this, of course, made me laugh when I imagined responses when people would read this. But it's true. When I look back over the years at what has been the prime mover to get me out of temporary funks, major funks, tweakies, crankies, anything, it's been remembering Death. Because Death gently and lovingly reminds me of Life. Life Right Now.

There is a question I have taken to asking "thinking" people I've met over the last seven-ish years or so. It can be and sometimes is blown off as trite. But being the cheezy person I am, I ask anyway because when it's truly considered, it has the capacity to move mountains. The question?

What would your life would look like if you knew you only had a year to live?

A month?

A week?

A day?

Those questions catalyzed me seventeen years ago. At that time, I was coming out of a mind numbing paralytic coma of sorts. My mother had died, my father two years before her. I was in a miserable marriage, doing a job I hated, in tremendous emotional pain. I felt stuck....didn't have the strength to leave the marriage, was overweight, drank wayway too much beer. I was one shut down woman. It got to the point where I when I woke up, my first thought was "Oh, F____, I'm awake," and I would cry. Every morning. This was not a happy time.

I remember one day, walking around work, doing something, people wanting things. I had no energy for it or them. I distinctly remember going to into a room that was empty. I had been crying for about ten minutes, feeling pained, holding back the real pain, not ready to go fully into it. For some reason, though, that day it would not be denied. I embraced the pain of Death, let it rip me apart.

I stayed with it, I breathed. And then a very odd thing happened.

I felt like dancing.

Fwoosh...my body wanted to go into a posture that reminded me of Shiva Nataraj. I kept getting images of BEING the YinYang symbol. I felt and was the The Dance Of Life. I knew that for the first time, I now understood Joy at the core of my being.

Things continued to shift internally for me and my outer world slowly started to reflect that inner change back to me through both attraction and action. Over the next three years, I sold my company, I lost 75 pounds, I left my marriage, I quit drinking, I re-created my life. And although none of those things were easy, they all brought me a joy, Life, abundance and freedom I had never experienced. I walked around with a huge grin on my face, marveling and verbalizing how much I loved my life (and driving my kids nuts in the process, I might add, yeahyeahyeah, allright already, Mom.)

Life has its cycles and I am not going to pretend that I am anywhere other than where I am. Life is too short for that. Due to numerous life choices I made, I spent the last two years getting lost in a fog. After letting go of my resistence and finally asking myself those questions in a different way in this different cycle, I am currently on my way out again to that joy space I was before. It's pretty darned exciting, I must say, to be back on the Path of Conscious Creation.

Death grounds me, brings me present. When I embrace its gifts, it brings me razor sharp focus, clarity for action and positive mindset. I remember to give thanks for the most mundane things like working phones, highways that are organized and pothole free, for grocery stores filled with a selection of food that rivals a feast for the Greek gods. It inspires me to be clear with, and thoughtful of, those I love, closing my energetic circles so if something should happen I don't regret. It reminds me to give huge thanks and drink in Earth's beauty as she is today, spurring me on to do all I can to assist her in her transitions in the coming decades. It reminds me to be good to myself because I have such a wonderful gift in being here on this planet in this time and space where so much aliveness and opportunity for change and creation exist.

All things die. It is what it is. People, families, experiences, cities, relationships, businesses, trees, companies, animals, you, me. ALL things are transient so are precious in this moment. There is nothing that inspires me more to remember what's important, nothing that reminds me more that I am alive. Death, in all its forms, gently, sweetly, provides a constant reminder that anything, everything can change in a nanosecond in ways we cannot fathom. Death is my Teacher and Friend.

Gustav Klimt "Death and Life" image from here
Henri Matisse "The Joy of Life" Image taken from here
Gustav Klimt "Tree of Life" image from here
Paul Gaugin "Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where are We Going? image from here

Carnival Time!! Law Of Attraction Carnival

And finally, the Law of Attraction Carnival with this week's theme being about money, was hosted by Karen Lynch at Live the Power and has a permanent home with Ed Mills of Evolving Times

Her choices for inclusion in this Carnival:

Featured articles about Law of Attraction and Money

The Nourisher offers Money = Gratitude
InControlCoaching.com offers Beyond the Secret.
Big Book of You Blog: Focus on Money or Life?posted atBig Book of You Blog
Law Of Attraction: Money And Flowposted atMy Secret Spiritual Dance.
Unleash Your Magnetic Powerposted atEver Hopeful, Ever Thankful.
Pennies From Heavenposted atFeels Like Magic.
How to Make Money with the Law of Attractionand Conscious Creation at Today is that Day
Want to Manifest MoreMoney? Forget About It!posted atDebra Moorhead.com
What Role Does Action Play in theLaw of Attraction? at OptimistLab

Law of Attraction Articles

Under TheTuscany Sun atThe Secret To Life.
TheOne Idea That Took 23 Years To Understand And Changed My Life Forever posted at Dominate Your Life.
The Art of Allowing - Let Goof Your Ego at TheDailyPositive.com.
It’s Time to Fly Down From the Tree at Applying the Law of Attraction.
Law of Attraction - receiving can be found at Real World Spiritual and PersonalDevelopment.
The quickest way to get is to give at You Deserve More.
How to Strike Gold in Your Life is posted at ZenChill.com Power Tools Blog.
Visions of Excitementposted athttp://writetoright.com/
The Secret posted at So Sioux Me.
Nine ways to use the lawof attraction posted at Welcome home.
Focus your Energy toward your goals! posted at success-is-in-you.com.
Are You Really Happy With Your Life? WhatWould You Do If You Could Do Anything? posted at Tall Muscle Actor Blog.
TheFork in the Road posted at Edith Yeung.Com: Dream. Think. Act..

Please go visit and comment. I know from other neighborhoods in Blogland, that these carnivals can be very powerful tools to find each other, connect and learn from different perspectives...something I always enjoy.

Carnivals!! Personal Development Blog Carnival

The second blog I submitted to was Personal Development Blog Carnival - May 20th, 2007 Edition . The whole list of Carnival Submissions can be found at Self-Help Wisdom.com, but here is the opening part of Paul's post copied here for your ease of surfing...if you so desire.....

"Welcome to the May 20th, 2007 edition of the Personal Development Blog Carnival.
Diving right into this weeks articles, Albert Foong wrote up a very nice article titled Aristotle vs. Urban Monk Round 1: Finding Bliss. Success. Love. In one section of the article, Albert talks about the insanity of waiting to be happy and says “Many people seem to be constantly waiting; waiting to start living, to be happy.” and continues by saying “Sound familiar? This is the most common mistake and the biggest killer of joy and happiness. What are you waiting for? Why can’t you be happy now?”. These words are pure gold. I encourage my readers to check out his article at Urban Monk.
Another great article I read this week was by Erek Ostrowski titled Ease Up and Don’t Swing So Hard! posted at his blog Verve Coaching. It’s a short little piece, but as Erek says “This is some of the most profound and spiritual teaching I’ve ever heard. What’s most profound about it, in my experience, is how counterintuitive it is.” Check it out.
A similar point is descibed by Lola in the article It’s not always about trying harder posted at Real World Spiritual and Personal Development.
How I Do Law Of Attraction by Pamm posted at My Secret Spiritual Dance shares some excellent insight into The Law of Attraction.
In his article Jack of all trade vs specialization posted at Ultracrepidate Causalien discusses the issue of being a specialist and in his own words realizes that “It is in that situation when I asked myself if specializing in one field is the answer to a great life? The conclusion I reached is a No.” Considering the fact that I’m a “Jack of All Trades” myself, I like this article.
Law of Attraction - receiving by Lola posted at Real World Spiritual and Personal Development dives into The Law of Attraction once again."

Again..there's more here

Carnival Time!!!: Carnival Of Healing

I am new to this Carnival thing and love to play so sent offerings to three different ones and got listed! Happyhappy.....

I love carnivals as they help me to find new blogs I wouldn't normally have found. There are SO MANY blogs..so little time. It's fun to have a pointer of sorts.

The first one is the Carnival of Healing and it was hosted by Isabella at Change Therapy. She honors Phylameana at Spiral Visions for being the guardian angel of this blog. Thank you so much Isabella, for including my offering!

Articles and sites:

Journey Into Love at Intensive Care for the Nurturer's Soul
The Still Small Voice at Live the Power
What is Tantra Right here from moi
Courage at Everyone Needs Therapy
Gill's Story from Renovate Your Life with Craig
DNA and Mitochondrial Time Bombs: Uranium, Mercury and Diabetes from Nourished
Aristotle vs. Urban Monk Round 1: Finding Bliss. Success. Love. by Urban Monk
Exactly Why Is MSG so Bad for My Body? by The Fit Shack
Ease Up And Don’t Swing So Hard at Verve Coaching
Brain Fitness Program: how to select the right one from Sharp Brains
Psychic Self Protection at Greenwoman’s WisdomMagazine
Sweet Transformation: A Qoton Classic from Reb Chaim HaQoton
The Power of Your Self-Image from The Road To A Perfect Life
Forgiveness at Creative Power of Thought
Top 5 Reasons I want to Live at at Widow's Quest
Mum's the Word at The Engaging Brands Blog
The Real Secret To Miracles at Zen Chill.com Power Tools Blog
Quick remedy for dandruff flakes and other tips for cure at Beauty and Personality Grooming

Finally..if you'd like to participate submit your blog article to the next edition of carnival of healing using the carnival submission form. past posts and future hosts can be found on our blog carnival index page. Last week’s carnival was presented by wisdom of healing; next week’s will be at reiki blogger.

Tantra's About More Than Sex

One of the things I like best about Tantra as a path of personal development is that it focuses us like a laser right to our core. It requires us to go to our deepest most secret, tenderist places and use that as the primary tool to find out about ourselves and how we operate in the universe. One of my favorite axioms is: how we do sex is how we do relationship is how we do our families, is how we do our communities, is how we do our countries is how we do the world is how we do God. Or (to shorten it a bit) "we take ourselves wherever we go."

First there's the whole thing about being wanted. Most of the issues and conflicts that came up during my Tantra training workshops were about partnering. Am I attractive to this person? If I am a woman, do I feel insulted or flattered when a man makes his desires known? And as two different women will have different reactions to a proposal, what do my reactions say about me? What if someone I like doesn't want me? If I am "rejected" do I feel "less then" or do I feel OK? Am I able to maintain my flow and self esteem, even when things aren't reciprocated in the ways I thought I wanted? And if not, how does this inform the rest of my life?

We are naked. All comfort in illusions provided by clothing/masks/adopted roles is gone. Is my body good enough both physically and the way I use it? Is my penis big enough, does it get hard enough? Stay hard long enough? Does it perform? Are my breasts to little/big/droopy/uneven? How about my belly, hips and legs? Is there too much cellulite? Am I willing to be seen and stand tall? (Am I "acceptable" and OK in the universe? Or do I have to "make myself better" to be unconditionally love by The All/receive the best in life?)

We want to be a good lover to please our partners. But it also brings ego satisfaction and gives us yet another thing to "hang our hat on." Am I able to let go of my need for recognition and be fully present for another? Do I need another's approval to feel OK about me? Am I good enough?

Does he/she really like what I'm doing? How would he feel if he knew I was faking it? One of the worst things you can tell someone is that they are a lousy lover, yes? How much do we keep hidden about the way we are made love to so as to "not hurt the other person?" Do we really think there is such a thing as a lousy lover? Do we expect others to see/experience the world the same way we do and then label them as "good or bad" when all it takes is a little conversation about differences and finding a common ground? Why would we label instead of teach our differences and desires? What are the ways in which we cut ourselves off from true intimacy by not being honest? Secrets in and out of the bedroom take their toll. Eventually, you will tire of keeping your mask. After awhile, a mask erode your desire. Brick by brick, walls are erected so that eventually the relationship dies sexually. Many couples end up in this place after years in relationship, not knowing why or how it happened. The thing is, though, that if this dynamic of secrets exists in the sexual arena of the relationshp, it most likely exists in other places, too, even though it may not be easy to acknowledge.

Tantra has often been called the Path of the Warrior. I call it the Path of Fire because it requires us to go deep within and transmute the energetic blocks we have that inhibit the kundalini energy from flowing. It is a simple path but not an easy path. The simplicity lies in its focus on being present to all that is, whether good or bad, our dark or our light no matter where it takes us. It's the nature of this simplicity that also makes it a challenge. It isn't easy to stay with all the feelings that sex can bring up, all the little nooks and crannies of the psyche that sex explores, and our reactions to those feelings. Nowhere is there a greater tool that encompasses leather and lace, ecstatic connection with the divine and snuff films, potential for deepest intimacy and a meat market. The question, as always, is whether we are ready to look or not.

Tantra opened and continues to open me to my sexual being. But the effects of the processes and exercises impact every aspect of my life. With new eyes, I truly learn over and over that I do, in fact, take myself wherever I go. And that even though it looks like sex, feels like sex, is sex in all its glory, it's also so much more.

Tantra by Iona Miller

Shame by Aimea

Summoning Of The Muse by A. Andrews Gonzales

Nathalie Manser in concert. Image from here

This article was featured in the Meditation, Yoga and Spiritual Growth Carnival

Law Of Attraction: Money And Flow

I've listened to Abraham tapes for over twelve years now. Before that, I worked with Gay and Katie Hendricks for years using their Quantum Therapy practices designed to release unconscious blocks to abundance and joy in every area of life. I've watched "The Secret." And now, since starting this blog last month and wanting to find out what's out there on this subject, I'm discovering whole blogs that focus on how to create money with the Law Of Attraction. As a student of Life, I am curious about how others use LOA, interpret it, incorporate it on a day to day basis. These reflections and mirrors are some of the ways I use to learn about myself.

I guess I've been using Law Of Attraction to do just that- create money. I created a livelihood for myself that "shouldn't" have worked out for me for a variety of reasons. But when I look more deeply as to how I've used Law Of Attraction as it pertains to money, I think I've been using it backwards from how I'm hearing it used these days (which doesn's surprise me in the least, because I do most things backwards).

Money is a symbolic expression of energy. We assign arbitrary value to things and jobs based on a number of factors having to do with economics and the belief systems that created them. I don't care to waste much space on here talking about them right now. To me, our world economy is all illusion, a co-creation that we continue to support and perpetuate.* And if you don't believe that, go learn how the really really beyond rich people use money. It's surreal...but I digress....

My Life Intention is to be connected to Inner Source, be connected to joy, love, happiness and flow, The All. It is everything for me and has been at the base of everything I have done my whole life. Money has been more of a barometer for me, an energetic measure of how I was doing internally with with this intention. Money is one tangible expression of my vibration in all things rather than the reason for lining my energy up.

What's important to me is not to be rich just for the sake of being rich. Or that money isn't flowing so that means I'm poor and can't buy a designer handbag. It's that IF having money is important to me and if I don't have the amount I want, what is this telling me about myself, my relationship with my higher self and my connection to The All? Where am I not feeling worthy? Why would I create lack....what are those beliefs? Why would I hold myself back from the life I want and envision? What am I afraid of?

I know that Abraham talks about not having to understand all this stuff, not having to know the why's of things to change. I also know I am who I am, and part of how I soothe and realign myself is by conscious self talk to remind myself that I don't have to hold onto a particular belief because it's not true. For me, and only me, bringing those beliefs into the light helps me let them go and believe something new. If I don't deal with the unconscious "stuff" I'm not starting "where I am." I'm just putting a smile on my face and pushing all that unconscious stuff down. If I've learned anything in the practical application of LOA and watching my outer world responses to my inner world, it's that when I finally and fully embrace where I am right now, I move through this manifestation to what's on the other side.

I've watched money come and go repeatedly over these years. I can say with certainty that every time I get afraid and worry, fret, or question life and myself, my financial situation reflects that back. Every time I've made a quantum leap in trusting that all is well, no matter what it looks like on the outside, my financial situation reflects that back to me in unexpected, magical ways.

So I continue to look at money as a Teacher for me, something which informs me of my energetic alignment with my Higher Self, letting me know when and where I want to trust more. No judgment-- it just is what it is. In the end, through the different cycles, I have learned that if I discover what it is that holds me back from everything I want and work it through, return to trust in life's ebbs and flows, that I can learn to feel OK again, even though nothing has changed in my outer world. I let go, bask and give thanks for the abundance I know is mine, the abundance that is right in front of me, if even temporarily forgotten.

*As a side note to be explored some day- what will our world look like when we as humans shift and embrace abundance more as our dominant worldview rather than the lack and scarcity our economies are based on now?

Hallmarked Gold Bullion image from here

Man on Scale from here

Abundant Love by Juma

And I've lost the link to the beautiful art on Abundance. Will try to find it and provide the link.

At The Speed Of Life

I had been doing all sorts of oddball body "therapies" in my late 20's and early 30's. Much of it centered around getting my linear mind out of the way, experiencing the body's energies and directly accessing deeper unconscious stuff. I did alot of cathartic breathwork, often in warm bath.

I was getting different kinds of body work done: Network Chiropractic, Deep Tissue Release work of varying kinds, regular massage. I found during those sessions I would get a memory or emotional flash, sometimes deep grief, past life memories, or things that caused pain when I was a child. I found that if I went into the emotional component, that often the body pain/tweak/ache would release. I learned to tune into my body and focus there, even when not getting the bodywork done, knowing that my body held much of my wisdom and as well as the pain. I started doing a process called Voice Dialogue, which I'll talk about soon. Suffice it to say that it's a verbal therapy that gets me out of my linear brain, pushing me into an almost trance state of Sacred Theatre as I access different archetypal energies inside me and let them speak.

I was convinced by my late 20's that traditional verbal therapies were not for me. A friend of mine had started taking workshops from a husband and wife team, Gay and Katie Hendricks. She kept telling me I would love them as they were doing all the stuff I was already involved in, had the same approach that I was using in bits and pieces here and there. They had it all together in a unified system. After a few months of not being interested and she had just come back from another workshop, she MADE me read one of the books.

I found my new Gods.

I love it when I am on a Path and find someone so totally in line with the way I see things that I feel like I've written the book. I devoured everything Gay had written and started to do the exercises he suggested.

Their processes are body based and what they call "no blame microscopic truth" to self and others. The breath is integral. Posture, body language, aches and pains, all of it has the potential of giving clues to something going on in the psyche and providing the way through to healing if given the chance. Their techniques are so powerful that bodies change. Gay used to wear glasses, but spontaneously had perfect eyesight and no longer needs them. It was my experience that when I lost weight (I used to be very fat) that when I would hit those "plateaus" often talked about, I would notice old issues coming up. When I would do the inner work around them, I would suddenly lose say ten pounds all at once, loose slowly again, then go to my next plateau and start over again. When I asked them about it, they said that yes, that had been their experience working with people and that they had also seen food allergies disappear when the issues that were embodied when that food was introduced got cleared up.

I ended up taking their Body Centered training. It was at one of the weeklong events that I finally made the promise to myself to leave my marriage if my husband didn't want to work on our relationship with these tools. The night I got back, I asked him to go there with me. He didn't want to. I told him I was done. I feel that the work I did there gave me the strength to make a choice to live fully and boldly. It was not an easy decision with three children.

Their trainings are not easy. They work at stripping away personas and getting to our essence. They will rip someone apart if they try to use any mask, especially the Victim. It actually can seem heartless from the outside, but through all their work with thousands of people, I get that they have learned that the only way to get past the Victim voice is to obliterate it and let it know that it is no longer in charge. Although they never said this directly that I remember, their work taught me that the Victim position is the strongest most powerful one we carry. It keeps us stuck, not alive. It entices us to destructive addictions. It's fear keeps us half alive because it talks us out of taking risks, keeps us believing we are "less than" and powerless. They are merciless with the Victim. They were with me.

I'm not sure of their techniques now as I worked with them fourteen years ago. But my guess is that they are even better at what they do now than they were then. They are keenly interested in working with people who are functioning well, but want to function at their highest possible level. If you feel stuck in any way in your life and have dreams of living a huge one, I can think of no better teachers to get you there. The processes rip through inner blocks to joy, abundance, finding life purpose, whole healthy relationship, and full aliveness in every way you can possibly conceive. They offer the best ways to transform the unconsious beliefs that we hold that interfere with us using Law Of Attraction consciously. There's a reason my favorite book of theirs is called "At The Speed Of Life."

mindbody taken from here

fireworks taken from here
rocket taken from here

All of their books are really amazing....here are more.....

"The Inner Guide Meditation" by Ed Steinbrecher

I'm slowly making my way through the history and Path my Spiritual Journey has taken. I'm still in my 20's and early 30's in the telling and I am now 50. Before I move forward any more, I wanted to share a few posts about some of the processes and Teachers I found who helped me define what I felt inside.

One of these Teachers was Ed Steinbrecher. You can find out more about him here. He combined astrology with the work of Carl Jung and developed a very interesting way of dealing with the archetypal energies we all have inside us.

His process in a nutshell:

First you get a horoscope done. This lets you know which energies you chose to incarnate with, and how they are in harmony or conflict. Then you meet your Inner Guide. This involves a series of seen/felt movments that you go through in active meditation (guided visual meditations). You see yourself walking into a cave. You look to the left and see a door. You go through the door into a new landscape. You look to the right and see an animal. This animal will take you to your guide.

Throughout the whole active imagination process, you stay inside your body...that is you see things as if you are in your body making the moves, not outside watching yourself do this. You feel/sense the earth below you, feel the air around you, watch and learn how to describe the scene you're in. Not all can visualize, but rather get a vague sense of where they are. It's all good.

Once you've figured out that this is your real guide (Ed talks at length about how to make sure it isn't a "false" guide). Then this guide calls in all the different archetypal energies as they live inside us. He uses the Tarot Major Arcana (trumps) as the symbolic embodiment of the energy of the different planets and signs in your chart. You can play with them in different ways...for instance, you can take the time to invite them in one by one to learn what their gifts are for you and how they can help you in your life.

You can also work with the relationships between the different planets to consciously mitigate their influences. For instance, if your chart showed that Uranus was in opposition to Neptune, your guide would call in the Tarot Trumps of The Hanged Man and The Fool. You talk to both of them, negotiate with them and get them to agree to work more in harmony so that your life gets better.

And if this doesn't sound complicated and weird enough, there are places in your chart where the planets kinda work together. So he then has you bring all these together, see them meld and come up with a new archetype to play with that is a combination of them, yet a separate one standing alone.

Astrology is an interesting thing to me. My brain does not work like an astrologer's. Truth is, I start to twitch whenever I read too much astrology because brain just can't go there. How do astrologers combine math, all that linear memorizing and then combining it with the intuitive apspects that are relationships and influences of the pieces and part of a chart, then putting them all together and have them make sense? Boggles my mind. And in the world of astrologers, Ed's mind was a truly unique one....to be able to combine and come up with all he did here is phenomenal to me.

Like many of the things I've exploreed, there were pieces and parts here that stayed with me and some that didn't work out so well for me because of who I am. Ultimately, like astrology, this system was too much for me to do very long. There were too many people to deal with inside me, they wanted too much from me to work with. I'm lazy and this was just too much work for me. But there were some really juicy things that influenced me profoundly.

The biggest thing was that I learned to embrace my shadow. When Ed introduced me to her, I was shocked. She had long painted nails. I had not had them since high school. She wore business suits and pantyhose, I didn't one suit or pair of hose. She smoked and spent most of her time in bars, I didn't. She was blond with straight hair, I am a curly dark haired woman. She was loud, talked to everyone, was pretty non-spiritual. Not me. Her name was Amanda. She wanted me to be more like her, to embrace her energy more.

So I started. It became a joke of sorts as my wardrobe changed. There were Pamm clothes, and increasingly more Amanda clothes. Over time I started dying my hair, wearing nail polish, bought some suits (and wore them), bought heels. Soon I embraced her more and more until the clothes in my closet, and my internal reality which they were a reflection of, became "Pammanda."

I learned from Ed that I had two out of three aspects he calls "Alien Energy Constructs." These are really difficult to explain so I won't even try. What mattered for me is that it helped me to explain and give me ease around who I am and what I went through in high school. The reason they are called "Alien" is that's the way we feel about ourselves. We understand that we see differently, feel and experience life differently, know we are odd. Generally these are supposedly activated in the teen years and if we don't find guides and mentors we can go bezerk and shut lots of ourselves down because the psyche is scared, often taking years to heal. Major phew when I learned about them. Then to have him tell me I had two of the suckers...can't begin to tell you how much healing that brought. Just the knowing was huge.

Ed has passed. His work is being carried on by his nephew Stephen Connor. I found current Yahoo discussion group of pracitioners here .

Cover of Inner Guide Meditation book by Ed Steinbrecher

Hanged Man from the Rider Waite Tarot Deck.
Natal Chart image taken from here

Outcast Held Dear by Mark Barker

You can buy the book here:

Law Of Attraction and I'm Sorry

What does Law of Attraction have to do with saying I'm sorry? It's about being clear in my energy and the relationship I have with myself and another.

When I say I'm sorry, is that what I'm really saying?

First off, am I really "sorry?" Usually, it's that I'm feeling another emotion-

-Sad for you and life that I was blind to something I did that you now feel badly about. While I cannot control how you react to me, am not responsible for your internal processes, I'm sad that anything I unintentionally did is now causing pain somewhere in the universe. I cannot say I won't do it again, because it's me and I will not diminish myself to keep you safe, but I wish we could all be happy. I will sit with you while you figure out what it is that makes you sad about what I do/did because I care about you and know the journey can be eased with another's love by your side.

The energy here says to me: It was not intentional, therefore I'm not really sorry because I have done nothing out of alignment. I am saying it to hope that you feel better. But will you, in the long run, benefit from me taking responsibility for your hurt when I have as my primary intent not to harm? Again...I can use "excuses" for being blind, but if I am trying my best to be conscious and if another person gets hurt because of their own inner buttons and triggers, am I really serving them by feeding their unconsiousness? It's an interesting energetic to set up and get caught in.

- Frustrated with myself for doing something I wanted to do, thought it might harm or upset you, but did it anyway and hoped you wouldn't find out. Perhaps I am in a monogamous relationship and I feel an attraction for someone else. I don't say anything because I want to protect you. I also want to feel my attraction, maybe flirt, because it's fun. Say I'm a teen who wants to go to a party, knows that it's probably off limits, but goes anyway, not telling the parent about it so as to avoid hearing a no.

I get upset with myself because I am not telling the truth and I know it. I have very good reasons for not doing so that all boil down to "I want what I want and don't appreciate anyone else deciding if I get what I want or not." The energy is wishywashy...there hasn't necessarily been an "affair" or a direct lying to the parents, I ride the lines. When/if I am "found out" I can be wishywashy in my response, too. I justify the actions to the other and myself, get defensive almost angry/protective in my "sorry" turning it back on the other and their inability to understand me. Well...I only played...it didn't go anywhere, I wasn't sure, you didn't directly say___________. If I'm not found out, our energy is out of whack too because we "know" deep down we are out of integrity with ourselves.

It speaks to me of: I am afraid that I will not get what I want in any other way other than withholding and avoiding. I'll keep myself unclear and the energy unclear so that if I have to admit it, I can wishywashy my way out and not be responsible for my creation.

Is this the energy we want to be sending out to the universe?

-Am I Needing outside forgiveness? Before I understood this, I would often confuse and be unconscious about the Sadness part or the Frustrated part talked about above. Because I was being unconscious about the dynamics involved, I would get hooked into the entangled spiral of energy around it and feel guilt. If I could not forgive myself for the guilt, I would want/need to be forgiven from the outside to be able to live with myself. This required the other person to forgive me. They weren't always ready to.

The energy here says: I have messed up and I'm really upset with myself about this. Even though you are the one who has been "wronged" here I require you to step outside your feelings of dissappointment, pain and confusion to take care of me. You need to be big about this. Eeuw. Ick.

_______________________________

A genuine Higher Self "Sorry" requires nothing in return. It's not guilt ridden. It comes from the heart of deepest compassion for Self and Other at the condition called "we make mistakes." It's an acknowledgement that we are all human, that we are all doing this Dance together, we come together to learn from one another through these mistakes. That whether I'm the giver or the receiver of the sorry, I attracted this behavior for finding ultimate deeper connection with my inner Divinity. Wanna play with me to find out what that might be? There is no perpetrator, no victim here, no reason for the sorry, really, as there is nothing to forgive.
_______________________________

So, again...this is all nice....all theory....theory I like, but ungrounded in action. What's important for me is: how do I apply this?

If I am the "giver" of the sorry:

If someone is upset with me, I look at my intent here as this is my guide in response:

If I feel I that this is something that is the other person's stuff, I will hold onto myself. I do not say I am sorry because it isn't the truth. I will say I am sad for them that they are unhappy and can I work with them as they figure out what their projection is? If it involves an action they want me to take, I see within myself if it's something I want to do. If I don't, I tell them that I won't, that I hope this does not impede our relationship as I love them, but that I will not let go of myself here.

If I've been wishywashy (hardly ever happens anymore), then I see that it's time to get clear. I don't blame the other for my lack of clarity. I take responsibility and act differently.

If I've done something I know will hurt and done anyway, I admit it, I own it. I don't expect forgiveness in return. If they never forgive me, I don't try to dissuade them. I don't try to talk them out of their rage, sadness, don't ask that they trust me again. I stay until they feel complete in their expression of it. I am there for them. If they choose to continue in relationship with me, I agree to things that feel in alignment, then keep those agreements with more consciousness.

If I am the receiver of the sorry:

I don't want one. The sorry is for the giver.

I want them to hear and understand/see/feel what it did for me, taking themselves out of the picture. I want them to know me. I want an acknowledgement that the person understands what they've done, why they've done it and learn the deeper thing of it for themselves. Then we get to go to: now that this is figured out....why did we co-create this? What did we really do here? If I have players of this level, I get really excited. It's what life is all about for me and provides tons more juice than a Sorry.

Once there is clarity, my vibrational field is open, I unblock and am more open energetically to receiving all I consciously want from Law Of Attraction.

Unconditional Love by Roni Pinto

Prayer and Compassion by Lily Myers Kaplan

Breema

I have a Chiroprator friend in town who is amazing with the body. She seems to know every cell, what it does, what is connected to what, what nerve goes where. She's a yoga instructor as well, aligning the body properly so the postures are done correctly.

A few years back she started telling me she was learning this form of Bodywork from Afghanistan called Breema. She told me she was slowly shifting all her patients to this Breema thing because it was so effective in aligning the body. It was really different, getting all the body's energies working correctly, I really should come in for a session, it was amazing, yadayada, etc.

Because I am such a bodywork slut, most anyone who is trying anything new wants me to try it. But I put her off. She offered specials and kept bugging me to go in. Every time, I ignored her.

Finally I had extra time, had developed more of a curiosity and she had a special that I couldn't refuse. What the heck, why not? I was in one of my back tweaked periods (my right sacro-iliac joint had a tendancy to slide out of place from time to time and cause excrutiating pain). I had done the chiropractic and massage things I generally do, but like the time I describe here, none of my usual tricks were working.

Breema is done on the floor. One place described it as a cross between a Thai Massage and partner yoga. There are no tradtional massage "strokes." You just breath deeply, letting go into the moment and allowing the practitioner to move you. All the movements are designed to open the channels of energy in your body and bring you present. No one body part is addressed..it's a whole body balancing thing.

My experience? The first time I went, I didn't know what to expect. I was unprepared and the truth is that I kept thinking "this is weird..what the heck?" But I always let go into every bodywork thing so did here, too, not expecting much. When I was done I stayed on the floor feeling nice, but didn't think it outstanding.

No, that didn't happen until I got up and felt every body meridian flowing. My back felt totally free. I felt like belly dancing. And I felt like this for a few weeks. So now, I highly recommend Breema. Highly. It's magic.

And doesn't it just look so yummy?

Sigh......... Don'tcha want to get one today? I do.

Aaaaaaaahhhhh....sigh.........

We likey.

All photos are from the Breema Center