Security

For many years people told me that while they longed to work for themselves, they couldn't because they needed the security of a job.

For many years, the people surrounding me saved, saved, saved to ensure security in their older years.

I wondered how the employed-by-others felt secure when their jobs were at the whim of another. I pondered how it is that the saver can feel secure when markets can disintegrate and values are not absolute. I wondered if perhaps it was because they had never lost it all so couldn't believe it could happen to them. I kept wondering about myself because I saw it as ephemeral, transitory, unstable, unsure...not secure in any way. Rather all this was only an illusion to feel safe.

I do understand the need to feel safe.

The more I know about the world economy I see, first hand (in my astonishment at what few know about it), that it's all a house of cards built upon a pile of ashes and dust, looping back upon itself, built only upon thought. But I think that very cool, cuz thought can change.

In these days of economic upheaval, I keep wondering if we are co-creating to learn (at a very acute and personal level) that our security does not lie where we think it does.

A few years ago, when I had lots more financial security, I went into a panic for a short period. I let go of the panic when I had a deep knowing/flash of trust and realization that all would be well and not to worry. I knew that either I would be dead, the economy as we knew it would be no more or I would be taken care of (in whatever form or job opportunity that meant).

I now have less than I've had in years. Haha...just about nothing...certainly from the perspective of my American culture. I am basically "homeless" (not really...but I live between two daughters' houses). At this point, I have no income that I can know of for another couple of weeks. I pretty much live out of two suitcases and a couple of boxes.

And yet for some reason, all I can think about is how abundantly Blessed I am.

Wonder what that's all about

Art: Abund-Dance from here

ALICE And The Rabbit Hole

Tomorrow ALICE is being tested! I'm so excited...heard about it some time back when I read articles about concern that it will open worm holes. I'm thinking rabbit holes sound more warm and fuzzy, if not nearly as interesting.

What is ALICE? A Large Ion Collider Experiment.

I was led to this:



What's a Hadron? Find out here.
A little more about it in article format is here.
What Steven Hawking has to say about it.

And on another note...on my Yahoo homepage is an article on scientists creating a new form of life.

I've always been puzzled when people say that science is the antithesis of spirituality. I think it the same thing, just another Path. Both explain the universe. It's just that science is taking longer to do so :) and needs empirical evidence so the Logical Mind will accept what the Mystic Mind has always known. But don't get me wrong- I love science. I love that it is supporting, rather than negating, what Mystics have said for centuries.

Spirituality says "In the Beginning was the Word" .....and the Word was the Big Bang...I mean...isn't a Bang a sound?

Spirituality says our Spirits live on after we die.....and didn't Einstein or someone prove something about how energy is never lost, it just changes form?

Spirituality says there is the Dark and the Light. Science says matter and antimatter, or dark holes and our known universe.

I mean...am I the only person who sees this stuff?

Note to Self...get subscription to Scientific American. Seems to be lots going on....there's change in the air. Cool. Wonder what's up.

My Mom

Mom has been popping in lots lately.

No...not over for a chat and tea. In my brain.

Next year it will be 20 years since she died.

She was 55.

I am 52.

At age 52, she was just coming out of a dismal period with my father who had been having multiple heart attacks over a period of ten years. He was unhappy, obese, smoked like a fiend, never exercised, drank way too much, sat his butt in front of a TV when not working at at highly stressful job.

Because he was not taking care of himself, my Mom was pissed that whole time. I can't remember a conversation where she didn't complain about him.

But at age 52, they had turned a corner. They were starting to play again...taking trips together. It almost sounded like they were falling in love again, rather than merely staying married out of a sense of duty and familiarity even though they were miserable.

In February the year she was 53, my dad had his last heart attack and died on the kitchen floor.

She died from cancer two and a half years later.

I pierced my ears. I pierced my nose. I left a marriage that had died for me.

I thought, wow...if there's anything to this genetics thingie, between the two of my parents, I have a little over 20 years to go. I vowed to fully live. I think I've accomplished that.

And now it's been 20 years.

And how does that make me feel?

Blessed.

Appreciative.

At peace.

The flowers on my morning walk make me happy.

Today while I held my grandson, bouncing him on the rebounder, the world stopped. He shimmered. I gasped in awe at the wonder of his pudgy fingers and Life.

I want to dance. And so I do.

I want to sing. Yup, that, too.

I want to look into people's eyes and feel their presence. And it's lovely.

I want to play and smile and laugh and embrace All of It.

I'm simply happy.

Art: Sacred Place by Ed P. Nice stuff.