The Cheezy Chronicles: Family
I haven't been writing here much because family and processing family are taking lots of time and psychic energy. In a good way. My daughter, Starla, is due on Feb. 3 to have her second child at home (mine). She and her son have been living with me since last week. It's been many a year since the pitter patter of little feet has graced my home for this long a period of time.
February is a month that brings up lots of family feelings for me. My mother's birthday was Feb. 1st. My father died on February 12, 1987. My mom died two years later. With my daughter being here, and the new baby here soon, my thoughts turn to family more and more as the days roll by. My parents are with me.
Both of them were in their mid 50's when they died. My mother was only 55. I am 51. It's weird to be approaching the ages they were when they passed. I'm thinking and feeling these days about the families we create.
I feel so blessed with my children, as I've said before. I feel blessed that they have chosen to have me in their lives in such an ongoing and active way. I wonder, in these pondering times, why it was that I felt such a need to get so far away and as quickly as I could from my family of origin. At age 18 I moved three hours away to go to school. At age, 20 I ran across the country to escape....what? I don't really know now, but it sure seemed important at the time.
But in leaving, I isolated myself from that support system that "family" is. My mother and I talked on the phone once a week or so. If I was lucky, I saw her once a year. But my father? We probably talked once every other month with visits being every three years or so (if that). I haven't talked to my brother in over 10 years (he's angry with me) ...and that was only at our grandmother's funeral. Although we are close, I hardly ever speak to my sister. My family of origin was not tight knit.
So I know both ends of the tribal thing. I give thanks for all that families are. We are messed up all in our own unique and lovely ways. We get hurt, angry, frustrated with each other to the point that sometimes we don't want to have anything to do with one another for awhile. We take our stuff out on each other more than anywhere else. And we have laughter, that place of safety and solace, where people know all of us in ways that are difficult to replicate outside that bond. I LOOVEEEE the drama, the rebuilding the opportunity to learn from each other (when we least expect it....often when we least want it.). Love is a powerful bond. Although not every case, blood creates a something "more" that runs deep.
I used to envy other cultures with their strong bonds of family. When I would hear people complain about having to attend family gatherings or whine about their parents, I would look at them and think they were so lucky to have something to whine about. I love that movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding," for all its dysfunctional glory. These are gifts and part of what I call "the suchness of life" that's so sweet. We are Blessed!
Art:
Family Reunion In A Vase, by Kazuya Akimoto from here.
