A Note To The Artists Whose Work I Share Here

I love art!

I would love to be an actual patron of the arts, buying pieces to enjoy and support you. It's one of my intentions and I envision being in that position some day.

In the meantime, I share the art I find that I like and would buy (hope to buy in the future.)

I am someone who feels art should be shared. I know many artists and they struggle financially. I'm also a networker, and like to share stuff I'm excited about. My word of mouth adverstising has brought business to many in many fields- restaurants, products, foods, bodyworkers, artists, doctors, therapists, workshops, etc. I find it the best way for us to share what we have and be able so support ourselves doing what we love. I find it a win/win situation.

I also see the internet as an amazing vehicle to have our energy out there as little beacons of light, providing us with incredible opportunity to spread the word about what we want to offer the world and get ourselves out there. I assume that is why you are on the internet to begin with.

I am aware that there are copywright laws. It is not my intent to violate them. I do my very best to give credit to the artists out there and provide a way to spread the word about your talent so that it can come back to you and bring you increased income. I don't contact you beforehand because this is a blog, I put these posts up quickly, I find the art as quickly as I can and I don't have the time to write you and ask for your approval.

If you want me to take your art, down, I will remove it within ten minutes of opening your email. I hope you understand the intent with which I used it, which was not to rip you off, but rather to celebrate you, your vision and talent and to advertise for you, too. If you do not want these gifts, then just tell me and I will find other art and artists who do.

Many Blessings and thanks to you!!

Father Issues

I'm not one to try and dig up all sorts of history to focus on in my healing. Being an actional person, I tend to think that rehashing old stories is counter-productive in the long run, serving only to keep me stuck in Victim Mode.

I do, however, think it useful in the short term to identify areas in which I may be unconsciously operating from.

Over the years I've tended to identify my main issues/woundings as stemming from my relationship with my mother. Occasionally my intuition might flit on the concept of "hm...gee...this is interesting that I don't feel anything around my father." But he remained a blank.

Years ago, in one journey/meditation I did around healing with my parents, I felt/saw/experienced us on a beach. We held hands, dancing in a circle. We started to fly. My dad kind of faded out of the picture behind my mother and I "got" (in that way that we get things while in trance: fwoomfwoomfwoom) that most of the issues were with my father and that we had all agreed on a soul level that she would put herself between the two of us. It was a true ah-ha moment.

However this vision was not enough for me to focus there or do any of the real work that I devoted to my mother (and other) issues. I find that quite cute...running from the what, Pamm?

He calls me now. I'm not sure what that looks like just yet, but I feel the call of healing my personal relationship with male energy. I have chosen, these last fourteen years, to learn what it means to be devoted to being with and serving male energy as it redefines and re-creates itself. But the years have come full circle (or what looks like full circle to me right now, anyway) and I'm learning the things I "need" that I've put on the back burner in my crusade of being "of service."

Years ago I did a stint around healing The Father when I did an adventure with Christianity and disconnected angry Radical Feminism. I'm not there any more and I don't know what any of this looks like today.

I do know it's deeper. And I do know that when I put the intention out there, things appear. It's already begun as I kindasorta began this a few weeks ago. It's scary, but completely freeing. This time of year is historically one where I experience stagnated, stifling, stuck energy. My birthday is soon and I've had intuitive flashes that it's about pre-birth body memories of waiting...sitting...or that since mother was a smoker I'm reliving feeling terrified and paralyzed with no oxygen, not being able to get the "life force" I needed. Stay small...stay quiet...maybe I'll survive. Whatever....

But this year I feel more energized than I have in years. It grows daily. I've been taking concrete steps toward doing life differently, learning trust in Life and Love...learning to listen as best I can then act according only to my heart...no shoulds...following the illogical...not doing what I think others need, not taking on projections. I'm both excited and scared shitless. Yum.

Time for a Quest.

Art: The Love Between A Father and a Daughter by Keith Burns from here

Pronoia

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT from Rob Brezny:

"Evil is boring. The universe is friendly. Life is on your side. Joy is your birthright. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. In fact, all of creation wants you to succeed. Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Retrain your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it."

* The preceding oracle comes from his book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Here's a review of the book.

Art: Waterfall from here

Lava from here

Icebergs from here

Trust

I'm asking again (and it feels really wonderful to be here).

If it's manifested, clear, no question as to what is or is to be created...then is is Trust?

Isn't Trust when we have nothing to back up our perceptions on the outer world?

When it looks like all is lost and we are "not safe?" or "not getting?" or "not loved?"

Isn't Trust the essence of peace, right here, right now?...not needing to ponder, plan, worry, anticipate, grasp?

Isn't it the knowing that this moment is perfect, no matter what our stories define it as?

And that maybe all this is soul practice for Trusting the perfection and Love offered in Death? (as the Tibetans teach)

That Trust has nothing to do with anyone or anything outside myself?

Isn't trust the core of Unconditional Love, inner peace...all of it?

I'm asking about trust as I continue to learn it.

Lovin' the journey.

Art: Open Heart by Leonard Morales, Jr.

The World Is Happy

I found this article today on Yahoo news and it made me smile. Basically, it's about a study that has found that even with "all the negativity" going on in the world, that we are, as a planet, happier people than we used to be.

I like this....and it makes me happier knowing that even scientists and now Yahoo News, are talking about it. It's like a secret is finally out of the bag or something. Hey, world...we CAN be happy, right here, right now. We ARE happy. All we have to do is remember we came here to be happy and not have the ickies take over in our minds.

I was listening to an Abraham tape the other day and they were talking about how if the world, as it really is, was on TV, there would be happy, happy, fun, sweet, happy, then a two second fuzzy noise, then it would go back to happy for hours. Those two seconds would have been the totality of the "bad" that is on the Earth, amidst the joy and abundance that is the overwhelming energy on the planet. Why do we continue to choose to see the bad?

Although I haven't reached the place yet where I am there 24/7...and especially not in times of intense stress... I do like knowing that, in the end, I have a choice whether I want to focus on what makes me sad or unhappy...or...I can go watch a You Tube video like this:



Matt gets around...and you can find his other videos on YouTube and here. He even has a blog.

Matt inspires me. I can't help but be in awe of someone who's touched so much of the Earth and the hearts of the humans living on it. Not only did I joy-cry when I first watched this video, it's happened every time I've watched it again. (I've also had word from a couple of diehard non-goobers that it makes them cry, too.) I can't explain fully why in words just yet, but he jolts my core.

I'm thinkin' he's one helluva angel.

"What If God Was One Of Us?"

That song by Joan Osborne often runs through my mind when I walk through the streets of Los Angeles.

Today I saw a woman, probably in her 70's, with a wizened face pulling a small cart filled with junk. She was getting up from a bus stop bench. I happened to glance down and noticed that her pants were stained with dark splotches at the crotch, a fresh trail of liquid darkened her pants. As I passed the smell of urine permeated the air.

My heart opened. I remembered reading somewhere, sometime long ago that some Native Americans look at the disabled, the crazy, the shunned as Teachers and Holy.

I wondered if she was in pain. I thought of the vastness of human suffering. I thought of the impossiblity of any one person "fixing" it. I wished we honored our elders, the outcast, the one closer to the other worlds than we.

I'm so in awe of souls that choose to come and experience life in this way. Seeing her touched me and reminded me, one again, at the power, the majesty and the mystery of creation.

Yes, It's Really The Breath

It's been a very long time since I've posted. Thanks and Many Blessings to those of you who continue to visit.

In my absence, my whole life has changed. Much of it has been a tumultuous shifting. I've moved 400 miles away from the beautiful Northern California town I called home for thirty years. I sold my home, sold lots of my stuff, packed most the remaining stuff in storage.

I left family, friends and a way of life that was laid back, comfy and connected, while being close enough to a large city to be able to enjoy that life when I wanted to. My old hometown has a strong sense of family and community.

I loaded only what could fit in my Camry and I moved right smack dab in the middle of Hollywood. I now hear helicopters flying overhead much of the time. Asphalt and cement have replaced trees and grass. I know very few people when I used to see tons of acquaintances every time I went out.

The move down here was not under the best of circumstances. I had to let go of a dream I've had, a passion I've held onto for four years, the vision I had of what the rest of my life would look like. I've let go of that dream and have relocated down here to rebuild my life, as a 51 year old woman with no job, an odd sort of work history and no dream or clear direction as of yet.

Initially, I felt lots of resistence. I cried rivers of tears in the grieving and letting go. I've been grieving loss of so much on so many levels. I left two daughters...one in emotional and relationship trouble. I left the opportunity to be a daily part of my two grandchildren's lives. I left a strong circle of women friends who are family to me.

In the middle of all of it, I re-discovered Eckhart Tolle's book A New Awakening. I've read so many books on this stuff, I have to admit to a certain degree of resistence the first readthrough. But Life was so Big, I wanted a guide, a friend to hold my hand. I found it. Thank you, Echkhart.

Nothing new, but what a gift...and so eloquently said. I've heard the same thing over and over and over, but each time I hear it anew. And, once again, I'm struck by the beauty of Life.

It's about the Breath. It's about being present to all of Life. It's about being right here, right now and melting into Existence and Consciousness. It's about resisting nothing, continuing to remember to let it all flow through us, holding onto nothing, allowing everything, breathing, breathing, breathing with all our awareness both inner and outer.

Books, Tapes, Teachers keep us on track. These Wisdom, Self Help, Awakening blogs echo the same message they teach us over and over and over. We really don't need any of the books, the blogs, the teachers. I don't, you don't, we don't. But they help us. We are little angels for each other in times of need when we forget who we are, lose ourselves in our fear. When we're in the middle of crisis, they help...all of them do.

In the end, though, it's not the words that bring peace. The words remind us, help us focus, keep us on track...but it's us that does the play of finding our peace. It's the experiencing of peace, of Life without labelling, of holding ourselves in that space of merging with The All that eventually brings us back to ourselves. We have to do this stuff. Just do it. It's pretty cool.

We may only be able to access it for a few seconds at first. But if we keep revisiting throughout the day, eventually those little seconds expand into minutes, then increasing blocks of minutes. Soon we're connectiong to our Essence in longer and longer intervals. Trust returns, we feel the embrace of love and all is well.

I'm happy. It was a good idea to move here.

Image taken from here.